Harper Chronicles: Chapter 2

I will title this chapter "I never knew I'd become so blase about poo."

Early on in my pregnancy I had a conversation (a very humorous conversation) with Bob Groven about how, as a parent, you are subjected to a variety of disgusting experiences with your child's bodily functions. Well, Harper is only 4 weeks old and Mark and I have already had the pleasure of some of these experiences. But, what really amazes me, is that--like my mom always assured me--when it's your kid, it's not that bad. And, in fact, sometimes it's kinda funny.

1. Stealth pee. Harper stealth pees. I always knew that you had to be careful when changing little boy diapers because of pee issues. I did not think this would be an issue with a girl. However, there have been several times when I (or Mark) have pulled off Harper's diaper only to be treated to a soaking wet changing pad when I attempt to replace said diaper. I don't know how she does it but we spend a lot of time washing changing pads. The best is when the stealth pee actually soaks not only the pad but the back of whatever she is wearing that day. Then I get to move her, change the pad and undress and redress her. It's awesome.

2. Number 2. Of course, diaper blowouts are a fact of life. Last weekend Mark and I went to visit my parents. At our house, we have a swing that Harper likes to sit in. My mom doesn't have anything like that so she purchased a little vibrating chair for Harper's visit. This chair is very similar to the chair my friend Ang had for her daughter Isabelle. Ang and her husband Dan referred to this chair as the poop chair because everytime Izzi sat in it she pooped. Kinda funny. Anyway, Harper christened her brand new chair as the new poop chair on Friday morning and she christened it in spectacular fashion. She blew out a diaper to such an extreme state that she actually leaked through her sleeper and onto the vibrating chair in two places. It was very impressive. Mark and I joked that it now truly was the "poop chair."

3. Does my child belong in the Exorcist? Harper doesn't actually spit up that often but when she does it is impressive. It's most impressive if she is laying down at the time. One day she projectile spit up to a height of at least 3 inches.