The story behind the name:

One evening, at the Old Broadway Grill in Fargo, North Dakota, my brother caught the end of a Mountain Dew commercial. In the commercial, a Mountain Dew drinker was riding a shark in the ocean. My brother exclaimed in surprise, not realizing that it was a commercial. When I told him he declared "All I saw was a guy coming out of the shower with a shark." Of course, he meant water, but the idea of showering with sharks has been with me ever since.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Where the F%$K is the Dish Soap?

We bought a GIANT container of dish soap from Costco. It must weigh 50 lbs. We use it to refill the normal sized container of dish soap that sits on the sink in the kitchen. One day several weeks ago I couldn't find the normal-sized bottle. So, I reached under the sink, heaved out the giant container, and used a tiny amount for dishwater. The next day, same problem, same solution. The third day I was tired of heaving that stupid giant container around so I went to Target and bought another normal-sized bottle. The NEXT day the old normal-sized bottle was back on the sink right next to the new bottle. WTF?????!!!!!!

Crazy life got in the way. I meant to ask Mark about the disappearing and reappearing dish soap, but I didn't. Then...

Last night in the car:

Me: "Oh, and we're almost out of dish-washing stuff."

Mark: "Oh, I don't think so."

Mark: "Wait, do you mean DISHWASHER fluid?"

Me: "Yeah. I know we have dish soap. But the dishwasher soap is gone."

Me: "I had to buy another dish soap when the other one disappeared."

Mark: "I know."

Me: "Yeah, where was the other one anyway?"

Mark: "On the deck stairs."

Me: "OH. OF COURSE. Duh. I can't imagine why I didn't look there. Stupid of me."

Mark: "Yeah, stupid." I look at him. "What? I'm just agreeing with you. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

Mark the Primitive

Mark doesn't hunt. He has never shown any interest in that past time. I have to say that I love that about him. But, despite that fact, he sometimes gets a little primitive. Maybe that urge to prove himself superior to his environment and the animals in it is buried, but it is still there.

If you've been reading past blogs, you know we have something of a small animal problem at our house. First was the mouse. I don't know if Mark has caught any other mice after that first one. I don't ask and he doesn't tell. This policy work well for us (even though I am firmly against it in a military setting). We are also having some chipmunk issues. Have you ever noticed how noisy chipmunks are? They are SUPER annoying. Seriously. Also, they've been digging burrows in our yard. One of these burrows was taken over by bumblebees. So, not only do we have chipmunks, but also bees. In addition, the chipmunks have been leaving corn from our neighbors bird feeders all over our lawn. Corn grows really fast and does not die no matter how many times you mow it. I've had to go out several times and pull little cornlings from the lawn. Over 50 cornlings at least.

So, Mark decided that live traps were the answer to our chipmunk problem. I'm sure he's live trapping at least in part because of me. The chipmunks are annoying, but I don't want them dead. Anyway, his first one was in the trap yesterday morning. (See previous blog post). After we brought Harper back home from daycare he took the chipmunk away and set it free in an undisclosed location. After he got back he set the trap again. When he had caught a second chipmunk 45 minutes later he was ecstatic! He took THAT chipmunk away, came home, and reset the trap.

After releasing chipmunk number two, he informed with a great deal of satisfaction that he had already taken care of one half to 2/3 of our chipmunk problem. He was well on his way to mastering his environment!

No more chipmunks that night but imagine Mark's pleasure when he had caught a third chipmunk by the morning! He released this one (he called it Simon, after Alvin and the Chipmunks. Get it, he'd already caught Alvin and Theodore) before we left for work this morning.

So, now Mark has caught and removed three chipmunks from our yard. Because he had been so successful, I don't think he was ready for the taunt that came as we were finally leaving for work this morning. He opened the door after loading some stuff in the car and said:

"There was a chipmunk sitting right in the garage when I came out just now!"

"I was probably taunting you," I said as we loaded Harper into the Mazda.

"I'm going to have to move the trap around some. I want to catch the really noise one that lives on the other side of the house."

"Yeah." I said as we pulled out of the driveway. "You have to keep fighting the good fight."

To be continued...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Mark + Traps =

Mark, last night: "Can I run and get some live traps?"

Crap, I think. More mice?

"Uh... Why?" I say.

"I want to trap the chipmunks."

We have a chipmunk problem. Our neighbors have several bird feeders. The chipmunks steal the food from the bird feeders and then come into our yard to make burrows and what not. We have several stalks of corn growing in our yard because of this little bird feeder to chipmunk transfer. The chipmunks are very brave. The come in the garage and into our cold storage under our house. Ballsy.

"What are you going to do with them once you catch them?" I am skeptical.

"Oh, you know," says Mark. "Take 'em out to the country and beat the snot out of 'em.

Follow up: Mark did indeed get the live trap and he was supremely proud this morning when he found a chipmunk in there. I guess that chipmunk is in for a nice trip and beating this evening.