You Want to Eat What?

Harper is going to be a bat for Halloween. She is very excited. She decided she was going to be a bat all by herself. Everyone in my family knows she is going to be a bat. My Dad, who wholly embraces Halloween, has been looking for stuff with bats on it for Harper. This past weekend we were in Fargo and my parents gave her a lidded cup with a straw in a Halloween theme. It has ghosts and pumpkins and, of course, bats.

On the way back to my in-laws' house Harper was talking about her new cup.

"There's ghosts on the cup. And pumpkins on the cup. And bats on the cup."

"Yep, honey, there sure is," I say.

"I scared," Harper says suddenly. "I scared of bats."

"Oh, honey," I say, "you don't have to be scared of bats. Bats are good. Bats are good for the environment. They eat lots of other bugs, like mosquitoes." I want Harper to realize that just because some things are different-looking that doesn't mean they are bad or scary.

Mark and I start up a whole bat conversation with Harper intended to educate.

"Do you know bats eat?" asks Mark.

Harper is quiet, thinking.

"Do they eat fruit?" Mark says.

"Noooo!" says Harper.

"Yes," I say (I'm so knowledgeable) "Some bats eat fruit."

Mark again: "Do they eat insects?"

Harper: "NO! They eat BUGS!"

Me: "That's right! Bats do eat bugs."

Harper, after some thought: "I wanna eat bugs."

Me, in my head: "Oh, shit."

Me, outloud: "Well, you can PRETEND to eat bugs. But you should really eat them. They are gross. Yucky. Just... don't eat bugs."

Me, trying again: "You could be a fruit bat! Would you like to be a fruit bat and eat yummy fruit?"

Harper: "I wanna eat bugs."