The story behind the name:

One evening, at the Old Broadway Grill in Fargo, North Dakota, my brother caught the end of a Mountain Dew commercial. In the commercial, a Mountain Dew drinker was riding a shark in the ocean. My brother exclaimed in surprise, not realizing that it was a commercial. When I told him he declared "All I saw was a guy coming out of the shower with a shark." Of course, he meant water, but the idea of showering with sharks has been with me ever since.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Wardrobe Malfunctions and Ninja Mark

Ok, so here are a couple of funny things that happened this week...

On Wednesday I decided that Tegan and I needed to go to Target. We needed baby food and some other things. So, like any parent planning to make a shopping outing with a sixth-month-old, I planned carefully. I made sure I had an extra bottle, change of clothes, diapers and wipes. I packed my wallet and cell phone in the diaper bag. I put the diaper bag in the car. I made sure we had a big enough window between Tegan's last bottle and her last nap so that I wouldn't have to feed her on the go (which I WAS prepared for... I just don't like to make bottles on the fly). Finally, when all the stars had aligned, I packed Tegan into her car seat, climbed into the drivers seat and headed to Target.

When I was halfway to Target I realized I was still wearing my slippers.

Crap.

What should I do? Do I go home and put shoes on? Or do I just go to Target and hope no one notices. If I wear my slippers to Target, I'm going to have to clean the bottoms when I get home. I mean, the entire reason I wear slippers is to keep from tracking yucky outside stuff all over the house...

I turned around and went back for shoes.

Later, when I told Mark, he was of the opinion that I should have just gone in my slippers.

"It's just slippers," he said. "Some people go shopping in their pajamas."

"Maybe if I was going to WalMart I would have kept them on..."

________________________________________________________________________

That same day there was another wardrobe malfunction... but this one was Mark's.

I was in the kitchen getting some of the newly purchased baby food ready for Tegan to eat. It was about 11:00 a.m. All of a sudden, Mark walks in the door. He scared the poop out of me because I didn't hear the garage door open and so had no idea he was home. After I jumped out of my skin I asked what he was doing home.

"Uh, I had an accident."

We have a three year old who has spent this year potty training. "Accident" in our house usually means someone wet their pants. Imagine the mental picture I had for just a moment...

But, no, it wasn't that kind of accident. Although it did happen to his pants...

Mark turned around and showed me. The seat of his pants had split. A big split. Like, an 18 inch split.

"I was leaning over to fix a jam in the copier when I heard the rip."

I should mention that these pants were like a decade old. It's a miracle they had lasted as long as they did.

"So, I just went into my office, grabbed by coat, and left."

"You didn't tell your boss why you were leaving?"

"No. I didn't really want anyone to know I had to leave because I had a big hole in my A$$."

"Well, they will all know after they read my blog."

______________________________________________________________

Last night while I was walking past him in the kitchen, Mark grabbed my arm. I stopped to look at him.

"I almost flipped you just now," Mark said.

There were a few moments of silence. Then we both started laughing.

"Sure you were, honey."

Flipped me. Right.

No comments:

Post a Comment